My Story
The Accident
Tony Combs was a young man of 20 in 1993. Having been through a difficult childhood moving through foster homes, he was finally ready to be independent. He had joined a Job Training Partnership Act (JTPA) program and was getting his G.E.D. He had met a nice girl with whom he would have a beautiful daughter named Kristen. Things were starting to look brighter. Little did he know that one event, soon to happen, would change his life forever.
On May 30, 1993, the day after completing the JPTA program, Tony and his best friend took the day to explore the shore of the Dan River near the North Carolina – Virginia line. At one spot on the river, there was a rope hanging from a tree over the water, inviting whoever happened along to enjoy a cool splash – an idyllic scene that is no doubt repeated many times at rivers and lakes across the state. Tony was familiar with the location, and knew there was a deep hole in the riverbed beneath the rope and tree. As they swam and played in the water, Tony couldn’t touch bottom. Assuming the hole was still there and anticipating the thrill of swinging out over the water, Tony climbed the tree to the rope and launched himself in the air. Then, total darkness.
When he opened his eyes, he was startled by bright lights. He was staring up at a ceiling. He felt the numbness over his entire body. Confused, he looked around and saw people standing around him. He realized then he was in the hospital, but how did he get there? He had just been swinging on the rope and how he was here. A doctor or nurse, he didn’t know who, asked him a few questions. One stood out: “Do you know where you are?”
“Uh, the hospital?” he said. “Yes!” she replied.
Tony asked what happened and she explained. He swung from a rope around 15 feet in the air and landed in shallow water. Apparently, the hole that was normally under the rope and tree had been filled in with debris and mud from previous floods. According to the paramedics who responded, the water was around 2 feet deep where Tony landed. She then explained the extent of Tony’s injuries. His spinal cord had been damaged and he was paralyzed from the shoulders down. He would never be able to walk or move his limbs again. The emotions overwhelmed Tony for a moment, but he was able to gather himself. The nurses and doctors filled in the gaps of what had happened after he landed in the river. His best friend had pulled him from the water while the friend’s girlfriend ran for help. He was eventually flown to Baptist Hospital, but because of the remote location it took almost 5 hours to get him there.
Later that day, Tony awoke to find his birth father standing beside his bed. Tony was shocked because he had not seen or spoken to him since going into foster care many years earlier. He wasn’t sure how his father found out about the accident, but there he was. His birth mother eventually came up from Florida to see him. Tony still has no idea how either of them found out about the accident. His father stopped coming once his mother was there, which saddened Tony greatly because he missed him.
Tony Combs was a young man of 20 in 1993. Having been through a difficult childhood moving through foster homes, he was finally ready to be independent. He had joined a Job Training Partnership Act (JTPA) program and was getting his G.E.D. He had met a nice girl with whom he would have a beautiful daughter named Kristen. Things were starting to look brighter. Little did he know that one event, soon to happen, would change his life forever.
On May 30, 1993, the day after completing the JPTA program, Tony and his best friend took the day to explore the shore of the Dan River near the North Carolina – Virginia line. At one spot on the river, there was a rope hanging from a tree over the water, inviting whoever happened along to enjoy a cool splash – an idyllic scene that is no doubt repeated many times at rivers and lakes across the state. Tony was familiar with the location, and knew there was a deep hole in the riverbed beneath the rope and tree. As they swam and played in the water, Tony couldn’t touch bottom. Assuming the hole was still there and anticipating the thrill of swinging out over the water, Tony climbed the tree to the rope and launched himself in the air. Then, total darkness.
When he opened his eyes, he was startled by bright lights. He was staring up at a ceiling. He felt the numbness over his entire body. Confused, he looked around and saw people standing around him. He realized then he was in the hospital, but how did he get there? He had just been swinging on the rope and how he was here. A doctor or nurse, he didn’t know who, asked him a few questions. One stood out: “Do you know where you are?”
“Uh, the hospital?” he said. “Yes!” she replied.
Tony asked what happened and she explained. He swung from a rope around 15 feet in the air and landed in shallow water. Apparently, the hole that was normally under the rope and tree had been filled in with debris and mud from previous floods. According to the paramedics who responded, the water was around 2 feet deep where Tony landed. She then explained the extent of Tony’s injuries. His spinal cord had been damaged and he was paralyzed from the shoulders down. He would never be able to walk or move his limbs again. The emotions overwhelmed Tony for a moment, but he was able to gather himself. The nurses and doctors filled in the gaps of what had happened after he landed in the river. His best friend had pulled him from the water while the friend’s girlfriend ran for help. He was eventually flown to Baptist Hospital, but because of the remote location it took almost 5 hours to get him there.
Later that day, Tony awoke to find his birth father standing beside his bed. Tony was shocked because he had not seen or spoken to him since going into foster care many years earlier. He wasn’t sure how his father found out about the accident, but there he was. His birth mother eventually came up from Florida to see him. Tony still has no idea how either of them found out about the accident. His father stopped coming once his mother was there, which saddened Tony greatly because he missed him.
Tony had been in the hospital several days when his best friend showed up with a piece of paper and a smile on his face. “You passed!” he said. Passed what, Tony wondered. He had passed his G.E.D. He was so excited! He had accomplished and finished something through hard work and perseverance. Tony also found out his ex-girlfriend had brought his daughter by to see him at one point, but he didn’t remember it. It would be years before he really got to know his daughter, but happily, he would.
Tony was eventually discharged from Baptist Hospital and sent to Charlotte Institute of Rehabilitation. There he learned how to maneuver a wheelchair, type on a computer, and become accustomed to his new circumstances. It was scary for him at first, but the staff was eager to help. His birth mother visited him a few times in rehab, and while there he painted a landscape using a brush in his mouth. After six months in rehab, Tony was ready to begin his journey toward independence! |
Journey Toward Independence
On His Own – 1993 to 1995
Within six months of his accident, Tony had accomplished a great deal. He had mastered controlling his wheelchair with his mouth, he had enrolled in a computer database class at Central Piedmont, and he had moved into his own apartment. With the aid of a CNA, who tended to his needs in the morning and evening, he was able to live by himself. His birth mother would help out occasionally as a backup caregiver, but mostly Tony managed just fine by himself. In his apartment, he was able to meet new friends, including his home healthcare nurse, Elizabeth. She introduced him to several members of her church at Sharon Forest Baptist and they took an instant liking to him. Tony joined the church and attended as often as he could, making new friends along the way. One of the members, Jennifer, was particularly touched by Tony and his can-do spirit, and they became close friends. He didn’t know it then, but Jennifer would play an important role in his life for years to come.
Obviously, Tony’s accident wasn’t the end of his independence as one might expect. In fact, things were going well. Tony had a place of his own, he was healthy, and he was attending college classes. But an incident happened in 1995 that would jeopardize everything.
That Thanksgiving, Tony’s birth mother called him and asked if he’d like to spend the holiday weekend with her so that his CNA could have the time off. Tony agreed, and was happy at the opportunity to get out and spend time with his family. On Friday morning, his CNA got him up and ready for the weekend. His birth mother was to pick him up later on that morning, but as the day progressed, no one came. He tried calling her, but got no answer. Tony began to worry, but waited, trusting that she should be there soon. At six that evening he realized he had fallen asleep. Somehow he had dropped his mouth stick, which he uses to dial the phone and activate the automatic door to his apartment. Tony realized his birth mother wasn’t coming and he had no way to call for help or to leave his apartment. He also didn’t have any food and the water the CNA had left for him was long gone. There was nothing he could do, so he waited. Saturday came and went, as did Sunday. On Monday morning he received a call, which of course went to his answering machine. It was his birth mother. She said she was in Florida. No explanation, no apology, just that she was in Florida and goodbye.
Tony’s CNA came to work later that morning and when she saw his condition she began to cry. She knew instantly what had happened, and she felt responsible. Tony assured her it wasn’t her fault that his birth mother never came to pick him up or that he had dropped his mouth stick and was unable to call her. The CNA discovered two deep sores on Tony’s lower back, caused by his sitting in the chair for so long and he was immediately taken to the hospital. Tony healed in the hospital and briefly went back to his apartment. But because of the incident at Thanksgiving, and because his birth mother, who was his backup caregiver, had apparently moved out of state, Tony was sent to a nursing home.
On His Own – 1993 to 1995
Within six months of his accident, Tony had accomplished a great deal. He had mastered controlling his wheelchair with his mouth, he had enrolled in a computer database class at Central Piedmont, and he had moved into his own apartment. With the aid of a CNA, who tended to his needs in the morning and evening, he was able to live by himself. His birth mother would help out occasionally as a backup caregiver, but mostly Tony managed just fine by himself. In his apartment, he was able to meet new friends, including his home healthcare nurse, Elizabeth. She introduced him to several members of her church at Sharon Forest Baptist and they took an instant liking to him. Tony joined the church and attended as often as he could, making new friends along the way. One of the members, Jennifer, was particularly touched by Tony and his can-do spirit, and they became close friends. He didn’t know it then, but Jennifer would play an important role in his life for years to come.
Obviously, Tony’s accident wasn’t the end of his independence as one might expect. In fact, things were going well. Tony had a place of his own, he was healthy, and he was attending college classes. But an incident happened in 1995 that would jeopardize everything.
That Thanksgiving, Tony’s birth mother called him and asked if he’d like to spend the holiday weekend with her so that his CNA could have the time off. Tony agreed, and was happy at the opportunity to get out and spend time with his family. On Friday morning, his CNA got him up and ready for the weekend. His birth mother was to pick him up later on that morning, but as the day progressed, no one came. He tried calling her, but got no answer. Tony began to worry, but waited, trusting that she should be there soon. At six that evening he realized he had fallen asleep. Somehow he had dropped his mouth stick, which he uses to dial the phone and activate the automatic door to his apartment. Tony realized his birth mother wasn’t coming and he had no way to call for help or to leave his apartment. He also didn’t have any food and the water the CNA had left for him was long gone. There was nothing he could do, so he waited. Saturday came and went, as did Sunday. On Monday morning he received a call, which of course went to his answering machine. It was his birth mother. She said she was in Florida. No explanation, no apology, just that she was in Florida and goodbye.
Tony’s CNA came to work later that morning and when she saw his condition she began to cry. She knew instantly what had happened, and she felt responsible. Tony assured her it wasn’t her fault that his birth mother never came to pick him up or that he had dropped his mouth stick and was unable to call her. The CNA discovered two deep sores on Tony’s lower back, caused by his sitting in the chair for so long and he was immediately taken to the hospital. Tony healed in the hospital and briefly went back to his apartment. But because of the incident at Thanksgiving, and because his birth mother, who was his backup caregiver, had apparently moved out of state, Tony was sent to a nursing home.
To the Nursing Home – 1995 to 2005
Being 22 with a sound mind and zeal for a normal life, Tony found the transition to a nursing home devastating. He shared rooms with elderly patients, some of whom were near death. Many of the other patients had mental problems or suffered from Alzheimer’s. He was limited as to where he could go or what he could eat. Tony was slipping into depression. He lost his appetite for the nursing home food and his weight began to drop. His friends from Sharon Forest noticed the change and were concerned.
Jennifer, mentioned earlier, started visiting him regularly along with her son Derek. They brought him better food and took him to the mall and other places as a way to get him out of bed and out in the community. Jennifer encouraged him, cared for him, and without even thinking about it started to fill the roll of “mom” that had been absent in Tony’s life up until then. One day when they were eating out, Tony blurted out, “I love you Mom!”. Jennifer realized right then and there that Tony was like a son to her, and from that point on she was “Mom”, and Derek was his “brother”.
Jennifer and Derek, along with other friends, continued to watch over Tony and help him the best they could. Ed and Susan, a couple from Sharon Forest, became heavily involved with Tony too. They helped him get a van so he could be mobile, and they arranged to take him to church as often as they could. They too became Tony’s “brother and sister,” adding to Tony’s newfound family. Jennifer’s friend Camille became “Aunt Millie,” and together they gave Tony something he had rarely experienced: a loving family who cared for him.
Despite the support group to look after him, Tony’s condition in the nursing home continued to deteriorate. He suffered abuse at the hands of a few employees. He suffered bedsores and malnourishment, and ultimately lost both legs due to neglect.. When he complained to state investigators, who later substantiated his claims, things improved for a while. Then the scenario would repeat itself. Finally Tony had had enough and he stopped eating. He wanted to die.
Like most mothers, Jennifer couldn’t bear to see Tony in such terrible shape. She kept encouraging him not to give up. Remember his daughter, she told him. She even arranged for him to see her. It was through Jennifer’s love and devotion that Tony finally agreed to have a feeding tube inserted. He ultimately realized he had much to live for and that his family and friends would be there for him.
A few years passed, and although some of the problems were still there, including neglect and abuse on the part of the nursing home, Tony held on. He was determined to finish his college courses and get a degree. Sometimes Tony would report the issues to the State, and they would be corrected. Other times his “family” were his advocates. Then one day unexpectedly, Tony had a seizure and was admitted to the hospital.
Being 22 with a sound mind and zeal for a normal life, Tony found the transition to a nursing home devastating. He shared rooms with elderly patients, some of whom were near death. Many of the other patients had mental problems or suffered from Alzheimer’s. He was limited as to where he could go or what he could eat. Tony was slipping into depression. He lost his appetite for the nursing home food and his weight began to drop. His friends from Sharon Forest noticed the change and were concerned.
Jennifer, mentioned earlier, started visiting him regularly along with her son Derek. They brought him better food and took him to the mall and other places as a way to get him out of bed and out in the community. Jennifer encouraged him, cared for him, and without even thinking about it started to fill the roll of “mom” that had been absent in Tony’s life up until then. One day when they were eating out, Tony blurted out, “I love you Mom!”. Jennifer realized right then and there that Tony was like a son to her, and from that point on she was “Mom”, and Derek was his “brother”.
Jennifer and Derek, along with other friends, continued to watch over Tony and help him the best they could. Ed and Susan, a couple from Sharon Forest, became heavily involved with Tony too. They helped him get a van so he could be mobile, and they arranged to take him to church as often as they could. They too became Tony’s “brother and sister,” adding to Tony’s newfound family. Jennifer’s friend Camille became “Aunt Millie,” and together they gave Tony something he had rarely experienced: a loving family who cared for him.
Despite the support group to look after him, Tony’s condition in the nursing home continued to deteriorate. He suffered abuse at the hands of a few employees. He suffered bedsores and malnourishment, and ultimately lost both legs due to neglect.. When he complained to state investigators, who later substantiated his claims, things improved for a while. Then the scenario would repeat itself. Finally Tony had had enough and he stopped eating. He wanted to die.
Like most mothers, Jennifer couldn’t bear to see Tony in such terrible shape. She kept encouraging him not to give up. Remember his daughter, she told him. She even arranged for him to see her. It was through Jennifer’s love and devotion that Tony finally agreed to have a feeding tube inserted. He ultimately realized he had much to live for and that his family and friends would be there for him.
A few years passed, and although some of the problems were still there, including neglect and abuse on the part of the nursing home, Tony held on. He was determined to finish his college courses and get a degree. Sometimes Tony would report the issues to the State, and they would be corrected. Other times his “family” were his advocates. Then one day unexpectedly, Tony had a seizure and was admitted to the hospital.
Cindy: Good Samaritan - 2006
It was while he was in the hospital that he got some disturbing news: the nursing home he'd been living in for almost ten years was permanently discharging him, saying they were no longer able to meet his needs. Tony briefly lived with this real sister before finding a home with a friend named Cindy who was a registered nurse. Under Cindy's care, Tony prospered. His bedsores healed, he was nourished, and he was happy. But when Cindy herself became ill a year later, Tony was again faced with finding somewhere safe to live. He tried to go back to a nursing home, but none would take him. It was obvious that word had spread that he had reported his abuse to the State, even though his claims were substantiated by state officials. Only through appealing for help with the state ombudsman was he finally admitted to a facility, where he remained another year.
Even as he went back into a nursing facility, Tony was making plans for permanently moving out on his own. He contacted the North Carolina Client Assistance Program (CAP), which could provide in-home care and other service.
Making Plans
The one thing missing was a place to live that he could afford. In March of 2008, Tony and his "family" met to decide what to do. After canvasing the several apartment complexes around the city, Aunt Millie found a South Charlotte complex that had room for him at a reasonable cost. Christian-owned and -operated, the apartment was a godsend. The family next worked to secure several month's rent by seeking donations and supporters. They called churches, businesses, friends... anyone they could think of.
When the group had raised three months' rent, Tony moved into his apartment.
It was while he was in the hospital that he got some disturbing news: the nursing home he'd been living in for almost ten years was permanently discharging him, saying they were no longer able to meet his needs. Tony briefly lived with this real sister before finding a home with a friend named Cindy who was a registered nurse. Under Cindy's care, Tony prospered. His bedsores healed, he was nourished, and he was happy. But when Cindy herself became ill a year later, Tony was again faced with finding somewhere safe to live. He tried to go back to a nursing home, but none would take him. It was obvious that word had spread that he had reported his abuse to the State, even though his claims were substantiated by state officials. Only through appealing for help with the state ombudsman was he finally admitted to a facility, where he remained another year.
Even as he went back into a nursing facility, Tony was making plans for permanently moving out on his own. He contacted the North Carolina Client Assistance Program (CAP), which could provide in-home care and other service.
Making Plans
The one thing missing was a place to live that he could afford. In March of 2008, Tony and his "family" met to decide what to do. After canvasing the several apartment complexes around the city, Aunt Millie found a South Charlotte complex that had room for him at a reasonable cost. Christian-owned and -operated, the apartment was a godsend. The family next worked to secure several month's rent by seeking donations and supporters. They called churches, businesses, friends... anyone they could think of.
When the group had raised three months' rent, Tony moved into his apartment.
On His Own For Good
In April of 2008, Tony moved out of the nursing home, hopefully for good.
In May, Tony and his "family" had an open house and many of his friends stopped by to congratulate him. Several of them donated money towards his future rent. A local news channel, News14 Carolina, did a story about him that day as well.
Out of the nursing home, Tony began to prosper in health and emotionally. It was a struggle for him though. He faced many challenges, including having to fight legal battles with the state agency that provides his in-home care. The CAP program tried to pull his support by saying he was over budget, but with the help of an attorney Tony prevailed by proving he was not. Then CAP expressed concerns for his health and his safety, but these issues were addressed as well. Tony was aware of the risks involved, but he also felt the risks to his health and safety in a nursing home were far greater. His "family", who had known Tony over the course of his journey and knew what he faced before, knew that this was true. His sores disappeared, his weight returned to normal, and his health returned. Most importantly, he was happy!
In April of 2008, Tony moved out of the nursing home, hopefully for good.
In May, Tony and his "family" had an open house and many of his friends stopped by to congratulate him. Several of them donated money towards his future rent. A local news channel, News14 Carolina, did a story about him that day as well.
Out of the nursing home, Tony began to prosper in health and emotionally. It was a struggle for him though. He faced many challenges, including having to fight legal battles with the state agency that provides his in-home care. The CAP program tried to pull his support by saying he was over budget, but with the help of an attorney Tony prevailed by proving he was not. Then CAP expressed concerns for his health and his safety, but these issues were addressed as well. Tony was aware of the risks involved, but he also felt the risks to his health and safety in a nursing home were far greater. His "family", who had known Tony over the course of his journey and knew what he faced before, knew that this was true. His sores disappeared, his weight returned to normal, and his health returned. Most importantly, he was happy!
Tony has now been in his apartment for a number of years. The difference in his quality of life, and his health, has been amazing. Through the help of local agencies who provide CNA and other assistance, Tony’s basic health needs are now being met, and unlike in state-run facilities he now has a voice in his care and treatment. He makes his own doctor appointments and can use public transportation or the van that has been provided by his church to get to them. He plans his meals with his caregivers, and shops for food he likes. He has guests and family over and he’s able to go out to eat and shop at the shopping center nearby. While these things may seem simple to many people, they were often out of reach in the nursing home. Also, when he's able, Tony attends Good Shepherd Church in Charlotte. Tony is a living testimony to what love and faith can do... and he continues to touch many lives every day.
Today, Tony's family and friends continue to work to raise money for his rent and care. They are committed to helping him live on his own and out of nursing homes for as long as he is able. Due to the ongoing support needed to keep Tony out of a nursing home, Word on the Street Ministries, a Tennessee-based 501c3 organization, has partnered with Tony so those who want to help can make tax deductible donations.
It is only through donations and the support of friends and family that Tony is able to live with some sense of independence.
Can you help?
Today, Tony's family and friends continue to work to raise money for his rent and care. They are committed to helping him live on his own and out of nursing homes for as long as he is able. Due to the ongoing support needed to keep Tony out of a nursing home, Word on the Street Ministries, a Tennessee-based 501c3 organization, has partnered with Tony so those who want to help can make tax deductible donations.
It is only through donations and the support of friends and family that Tony is able to live with some sense of independence.
Can you help?