Updates from Tony:
Despite what happened while I was growing up, I still believe in the importance of family. Shortly before my accident, God blessed me with a beautiful daughter Kristen. Even though her mother and I are not together, I have been able to watch Kristen grow up and have a child of her own: Ariana. I can't tell you how much I love them both, and although I wasn't able to be with Kristen while she was growing up, she and I talk regularly now. She visits me, and I feel like she wants to build a relationship with me. Nothing would make me happier! It's wonderful that my daughter wants to be more involved with me and that she and I are free to talk and see each other without any constraints. And of course, I'm also thankful for my "new" family that you can read about on this site!
-Tony
Despite what happened while I was growing up, I still believe in the importance of family. Shortly before my accident, God blessed me with a beautiful daughter Kristen. Even though her mother and I are not together, I have been able to watch Kristen grow up and have a child of her own: Ariana. I can't tell you how much I love them both, and although I wasn't able to be with Kristen while she was growing up, she and I talk regularly now. She visits me, and I feel like she wants to build a relationship with me. Nothing would make me happier! It's wonderful that my daughter wants to be more involved with me and that she and I are free to talk and see each other without any constraints. And of course, I'm also thankful for my "new" family that you can read about on this site!
-Tony
19 Years! (2012)
May 30, 2012 will be the 19th anniversary of my becoming a C-4 quadriplegic. I remember I had taken my G.E.D. test and it was the following day (May 30, 1993) that I made a fateful dive into what I thought was a deep part of the swimming hole I had been to several times as a teen. I swung off a rope and landed head-first in about two feet of water, breaking my neck. Whether I was just resilient or just had a hard head, I was only in the hospital for a little under 3 weeks. Little did I know what would lie ahead for me in the years to come; I had already been through a lot, growing up in foster care and living with physical and sexual abuse, but what would come next was almost too much to bear. Before the accident, I did not have much contact with my birth parents. In fact, I had not seen my birth father in over 12 years. I don't know how he found out about my accident, but he visited me in the hospital. The only words he said to me were "Don't ever call me or ask me for help!", and then he turned and left. Occasionally through the years I have tried to reach out to him, but with no luck. My birth mother also visited me, but didn't stay very long. As you may have read on the site, things didn't work out very well with her either. I've only recently communicated with her on Facebook, but we don't say much. The years that immediately followed my accident were difficult. I went to several different nursing homes, where young people with sound minds are not very well liked. I was abused verbally and physically, and I was neglected to the point of losing both of my legs and a kidney to infections. Things were so bad; I tried to commit suicide four different times. But God had other plans for me, and I thank Him for helping me through those difficult times.
Since leaving the nursing homes, my visits to the hospital are much less frequent. I love life, but there are some days I get bored and lonely living how I live. I wish I could get out and do more but I'm on time constraints because of my care. I'm still thankful to be out on my own though!
-Tony
May 30, 2012 will be the 19th anniversary of my becoming a C-4 quadriplegic. I remember I had taken my G.E.D. test and it was the following day (May 30, 1993) that I made a fateful dive into what I thought was a deep part of the swimming hole I had been to several times as a teen. I swung off a rope and landed head-first in about two feet of water, breaking my neck. Whether I was just resilient or just had a hard head, I was only in the hospital for a little under 3 weeks. Little did I know what would lie ahead for me in the years to come; I had already been through a lot, growing up in foster care and living with physical and sexual abuse, but what would come next was almost too much to bear. Before the accident, I did not have much contact with my birth parents. In fact, I had not seen my birth father in over 12 years. I don't know how he found out about my accident, but he visited me in the hospital. The only words he said to me were "Don't ever call me or ask me for help!", and then he turned and left. Occasionally through the years I have tried to reach out to him, but with no luck. My birth mother also visited me, but didn't stay very long. As you may have read on the site, things didn't work out very well with her either. I've only recently communicated with her on Facebook, but we don't say much. The years that immediately followed my accident were difficult. I went to several different nursing homes, where young people with sound minds are not very well liked. I was abused verbally and physically, and I was neglected to the point of losing both of my legs and a kidney to infections. Things were so bad; I tried to commit suicide four different times. But God had other plans for me, and I thank Him for helping me through those difficult times.
Since leaving the nursing homes, my visits to the hospital are much less frequent. I love life, but there are some days I get bored and lonely living how I live. I wish I could get out and do more but I'm on time constraints because of my care. I'm still thankful to be out on my own though!
-Tony
Committing to Christ (2012)
Decisions… why are some decisions so hard? I have been thinking hard about my church involvement or where I belong or should go. For a couple of years, I had been going to an awesome church called Elevation. If it weren't for the kind folks there and Pastor Steven in particular, I’m not sure if I would have given my life to Christ yet or not. I’ll tell you a quick little story about how everything came about with me making that life changing decision.
During one service at Elevation Church, Pastor Steven gave a sermon entitled; “No More Excuses”. As he was preaching, I felt that just about everything he was saying was directed straight towards me. I’m sure others have felt like that before, that when a preacher spoke it was directed to them and this was one of those times for me. Almost every word he spoke I could relate to different points in my life.
I had lived in several nursing homes over the years. At a few of them, the abuse had been so bad that I had tried to commit suicide. In the nursing homes, I was exposed to many different religions and faiths and I was so confused. I always felt that Jesus Christ was the son of God and no one could go to Heaven except through Him. No matter what happened or what others said, that was my constant belief. Yet for some reason, I had always made excuses to not fully show or go through with my commitment to Christ.
This fact hit me very hard during Pastor Steven's sermon. My mind kept telling me, “You’ve heard enough, get out of there”. It knew it was the devil whispering in my ear and, "ye of little faith," I listened to him and decided to leave and wait by my van until service was over. So I puffed on my wheelchair's sip-n-puff straw and made my way to my van to wait for my friends. As I was headed towards my van I felt that God sent an angel to push the devil off my shoulders! I could sense a struggle. I was puffing my straw and getting closer to my van when I saw two of leaders at Elevation standing there. My chair suddenly stopped and wouldn’t budge. A calm feeling came over me and I felt the devil fall away.
I spoke to them about what I was feeling. After a long talk with them, I confirmed my commitment to Jesus and asked if I could get baptized to show that commitment. Participating in baptism is no small feat given my condition. Yet for me it was something so awesome and amazing; the joy I felt that day renewed my spirit!
-Tony
Transitions (2012)
Although my time at Elevations was good, I know that often God leads us in new directions and to new blessings. Recently, I have been visiting another church called Good Shepherd, and they have welcomed me with open arms. The pastor there even made it a point to call me and to send me a handwritten welcome. Moving to a new church is not always easy, but I will go wherever God leads me. It's my prayer that He will guide me somewhere that I can contribute and inspire, as well as be inspired. I will follow Him!
-Tony
Decisions… why are some decisions so hard? I have been thinking hard about my church involvement or where I belong or should go. For a couple of years, I had been going to an awesome church called Elevation. If it weren't for the kind folks there and Pastor Steven in particular, I’m not sure if I would have given my life to Christ yet or not. I’ll tell you a quick little story about how everything came about with me making that life changing decision.
During one service at Elevation Church, Pastor Steven gave a sermon entitled; “No More Excuses”. As he was preaching, I felt that just about everything he was saying was directed straight towards me. I’m sure others have felt like that before, that when a preacher spoke it was directed to them and this was one of those times for me. Almost every word he spoke I could relate to different points in my life.
I had lived in several nursing homes over the years. At a few of them, the abuse had been so bad that I had tried to commit suicide. In the nursing homes, I was exposed to many different religions and faiths and I was so confused. I always felt that Jesus Christ was the son of God and no one could go to Heaven except through Him. No matter what happened or what others said, that was my constant belief. Yet for some reason, I had always made excuses to not fully show or go through with my commitment to Christ.
This fact hit me very hard during Pastor Steven's sermon. My mind kept telling me, “You’ve heard enough, get out of there”. It knew it was the devil whispering in my ear and, "ye of little faith," I listened to him and decided to leave and wait by my van until service was over. So I puffed on my wheelchair's sip-n-puff straw and made my way to my van to wait for my friends. As I was headed towards my van I felt that God sent an angel to push the devil off my shoulders! I could sense a struggle. I was puffing my straw and getting closer to my van when I saw two of leaders at Elevation standing there. My chair suddenly stopped and wouldn’t budge. A calm feeling came over me and I felt the devil fall away.
I spoke to them about what I was feeling. After a long talk with them, I confirmed my commitment to Jesus and asked if I could get baptized to show that commitment. Participating in baptism is no small feat given my condition. Yet for me it was something so awesome and amazing; the joy I felt that day renewed my spirit!
-Tony
Transitions (2012)
Although my time at Elevations was good, I know that often God leads us in new directions and to new blessings. Recently, I have been visiting another church called Good Shepherd, and they have welcomed me with open arms. The pastor there even made it a point to call me and to send me a handwritten welcome. Moving to a new church is not always easy, but I will go wherever God leads me. It's my prayer that He will guide me somewhere that I can contribute and inspire, as well as be inspired. I will follow Him!
-Tony
I have just signed a new lease for my apartment, marking 7 years of being independent and free from the nursing home. So much has happened since my last update. I am now the grandfather of two little girls, Ariana and Kinleigh, and my daughter and I are getting closer every day. I enjoy waking up and facing each day, and cannot wait to see what each day will bring. My health has been very good and I have wonderful nursing assistants/care-givers. I have made many new friends at my church, and I enjoy going to hear every message I can. Mentally, I’m doing well too. I wake up with a smile each morning, and I look forward to what the day will hold. I am still able to make my own decisions about things, such as making my own appointments, making transportation arrangements, shopping for my needs, etc. It is such a joy living on my own, free from the confines and abuses of a nursing home.
Sometimes I worry, though. I am in the CAP/DA (Community Alternatives Program for Disabled Adults), a Medicaid-funded program which helps to pay for my assistance. Since the AFA has now gone into effect everything has now been computerized, and rules are continually updated. I just ask your prayers that funding will continue to be available so I can continue to stay in my apartment.
Otherwise, I’m doing well. I have a wonderful support network of friends and loved ones.
-Tony